Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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