It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
