She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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