Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
