maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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