Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
