Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
