yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
