would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
