Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
