Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
