Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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