I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The air taste purple.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
