I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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