Just cropdusted the office
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
