Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
