she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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