I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you would pick up someone in the library
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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