there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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