Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
