Who wears a wallet chain?!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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