you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
