The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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