Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
