Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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