I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
