And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
