I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
