Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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