No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
