I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dicks are not precious.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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