I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
