He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
