She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like a drive thru vagina
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
