Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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