reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
