it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
