I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
