11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
