i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
