haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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