i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
