I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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