I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
