If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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