this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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