Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
