If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
