My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
operation harelip BJ is a go
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
