So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
