Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
