I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
