this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
