What a fucking waste of an outfit
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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